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The Prosecution: Beth

At times she films me while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it’s like a jumpscare.

A close companion of 10 years, she, labels herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a short while, but it weighs on our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything all the time. During meals out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when strangers see her posing or filming – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes video blogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her feed later, and it comes like a jumpscare: I’ll have bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also expects me to film her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I'm in conversation to another person, or we're simply hanging out in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me being her free crew. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to several brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I spend helping her create material.

I’m grateful that Marielle has supported me with my career in design, but I don’t want our friendship to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or dishonest, but at times it seems that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me laughing with someone. It feels forced. I need her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I love being with her, but I also want to experience it without being recorded, altered, or posted for an audience. I am not a prop for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the creations we make together can get us an opportunity.

I love shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online enables me to show my personality and engage with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to make money from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who execute that aesthetic of informal, self-made content creation.

Creating content is my interpretation of engaging with life: noticing the nuances, sharing them with an audience that values the art behind it. I never intend to make my friend uneasy. Bringing her to industry events was my method of offering access, providing her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That isn't leverage, it's simply being pragmatic.

I would take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we make together can achieve: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone likes being filmed, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Appearing on video from time to time is part and parcel of being my companion. I would delete anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my personal videographer, but friends help each other in small ways. My assumption was filming a short video here or there would be enjoyable for her. Creativity thrives in partnership, and having my friend around makes endeavors lively and pleasurable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I cherish our friendship profoundly and want to avoid content creation to come between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and steering clear of shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about control, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it’s just part of how I live my life and I want her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend film you. I get that it's her passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is content. She needs to respect her friend's personal space.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and displaying her life publicly, but it isn't for everyone. It was kind she has assisted Beth’s career, but she needs to listen to what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the priority in your relationship. Create some authentic experiences, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. Even public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be neither present nor genuine when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem confused as to what’s reasonable. The answer lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing clear boundaries around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle over-exposing their friendship?